The Quilver: Christmas Clauspiracy The Quilver: Christmas Clauspiracy
BY TAMARAH WALLACE You better watch out. You better cry. You better pout. And I am going to tell you why. The image of... The Quilver: Christmas Clauspiracy

BY TAMARAH WALLACE

You better watch out.
You better cry.
You better pout.

And I am going to tell you why.

The image of a jolly, old man intent on bringing about happiness to the children of the world is a notion that has been perpetuated for years through advertisements, the media and word-of-mouth folklore. However, if the facts of the matter are examined more closely, a chasm forms between the Santa Claus of legend and the proceedings of the actual man.

From having no reasoning behind his strange actions, to the actions themselves, to his secluded factory that could be likened to a sweatshop, Claus has more negative characteristics than positive.

“When my parents first told me that a stranger broke into our house every Christmas and left presents for me, I was chilled to the bone,” senior Dan Daniels said. “Who is this man?”

Something that every experienced detective or crime show junkie understands is that one simply does not act without motive. And in the case of Santa Claus, the reasoning behind his actions are incredibly unclear. Does he want to simply reward good children? And if so, what is in it for him? This could all just be a part of his own sick, twisted game to have children conform to his own ideals.

“I feel that I am a pretty nice person,” junior Nate Archibald said. “I do a lot of community service and always eat my vegetables, but somehow I still received coal for my last four Christmases.”

This is the only possible reason for his motivation to watch children around the clock and later influence them through present choices. From this information, it is possible that he could be a Russian spy. It may be how he is able to purchase the equipment required to track everyone in America and his want to influence their actions.

Also, what is his definition of right and wrong? For someone that allegedly lives away from human contact his definition of “nice” could be the complete opposite of what we think it is. He could see a child bullying another and reward that awful child because he happened to see it fit.

Furthermore, beginning in the late 19th century, Santa, with rosy, wind-burned cheeks, a robust figure and boisterous cackle, was spotted entering homes throughout the world. However, there was no trace of him except for the presents he left and the remnants of the cookies and milk he consumed. In the hundreds of years he has been active, no one has been able to have concrete evidence of his existence. Is he even a human being? If Santa is supernatural, what made him this way?

The fact that this figure is so elusive raises the question of why he is praised every holiday season without any consideration to the person behind the red suit. It seems like more Santa traps should be set in order to catch this person and ask them some very important questions. Sure, he may bring presents, but at what cost?

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons Flickr photography