Unpopular Opinions: Mint Chocolate is Just Toothpaste in Disguise

BY SOPHIA WENGIER

The mint chocolate combination began in America in the early 1900’s in tea houses and diner halls.  Guests were handed mint sprigs and pieces of chocolate on their way out and told that it would aid their digestion and give them better breath. Frago Mints, one of the first chocolate mints, were patented in 1918 and were sold frozen in tea houses.  From there, the combo took off and mint chocolate began to be produced in many forms including ice cream, Girl Scout cookies, and candies.  

Mint chocolate is adored by so many that even uttering one word against it could end a friendship in a second. In fact, this duo is so popular that February 19th has been named “National Chocolate Mint Day” by the US National Confectioners Association.  The amount of love for a food that is so beyond disgusting can almost lead one to think that some brainwashing might be taking place.  

“If you don’t like mint chocolate we can’t be friends,” Senior Carsten Nohrden said. “It doesn’t matter how long I’ve known you, it’s a deal breaker.”

The flavors simply aren’t compatible. Those who have ever taken a drink of orange juice after brushing their teeth can verify that mint is not a food that should ever be paired with anything else.  Mint just alters the taste of other foods for the worst.  Although they’re both universally loved foods, two rights don’t always make a right and just because two things are good doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be good together.  

To make it worse, mint chocolate lovers are always coming up with new ways to try the flavor.  It’s not hard to stumble across a food blog displaying a recipe for mint chocolate pancakes or mint chocolate covered popcorn.  In reality, this effect could be achieved by simply spreading mint toothpaste on one’s food.  

“One time, I wanted mint chocolate ice cream but I didn’t have any,” one mint chocolate lover said.  “Instead, I mixed vanilla ice cream with my toothpaste.  It tasted pretty much the same and then I didn’t have to brush my teeth that night.”

Being a mint chocolate hater in a world where the flavor is praised and celebrated is tough in more ways than just one.  Those who are afraid to go against the grain have to hide their dislike to avoid ridicule and may even have to choke down mint chocolate chip ice cream in front of their friends to stay under the radar.  On top of this, mint chocolate is sneaky.  While it is usually avoided by looking out for the creepy and unnatural green that colors most foods with this flavor, it can also often be disguised as regular chocolate.  The disappointment that mint chocolate haters go through because of this is colossal.  

“Mint chocolate is evil,” one anonymous student said.  “People talk about how good it is so often that I even start to believe it sometimes, but it’s not.  It’s just not”

The hatred for mint chocolate is larger than just one person’s unpopular opinion – it’s a drop of common sense in an ocean of propaganda and insanity.  Those who love it are willing to kill for their cause and those who hate it are willing to die for it.  The reasons why it is so universally loved will always be a mystery, but when the day comes that mint chocolate lovers act on their radical beliefs, those with working taste buds will die with their dignity.