BY VICTORIA MARTIN
Most people have heard of toxic friends. They are the people that others tell you to avoid. A toxic friend is not a friend and will never be a friend. They mistreat the person in which they are “friends” with and normally end up causing quite a bit of an emotional stir for the other person due to their actions.
Having a toxic friend is the term that most people hear. When somebody hears about another toxic person, many are quick to make the assumption that this person is a toxic friend, but that is not always the case. It needs to be made clear that a toxic friend is merely a toxic person. They were just in a role that one could define them as a “friend.”
Toxic people exist and they can exist in any type of setting or relationship. Somebody can have a toxic person within their family. Toxic family members are never really brought into light due to the fact that they are family.
In most scenarios, family is supposed to be a person’s backbone. If somebody has an issue or finds themselves in a situation, many will turn to their families for comfort. It’s almost instinctual to love those who are close to you such as your family.
This is not true as a toxic friend is not a friend and a toxic family member is not a true part of somebody’s family.
This construct created by society of loving your family no matter the situation is what causes people to stay in unsafe and unhealthy situations. People assume that because somebody is family, it doesn’t mean that you should drop them as you would a toxic friend. This is not true as a toxic friend is not a friend and a toxic family member is not a true part of somebody’s family.
These individuals are toxic people who are doing things that can and will damage you both emotionally and physically. Being born into a toxic family, which is normally the situation if one finds themselves dealing with a toxic family member, can stunt the development of a child’s personality.
Due to the change in personality that a toxic person can cause in another person, most people will have two options when dealing with this toxicity in their lives. First, they could never notice the toxicity around them. It can become normalized within their lives and in turn, start to affect future decisions about relationships and how they handle themselves.
Second, some can begin to notice the toxicity around them and realize the toxic nature of their family members, but they will have a difficult time separating themselves from those people. Not only is it extremely difficult to finally separate from people who supposedly “loved and cared” about you, but these people must also begin on their road to emotional recovery.
You can choose to have your blood relative be your family, but at any point in time, if a family member must be dropped, then so be it.
The stigma around dropping family members is not doing those affected any favors either. These people have enough on their minds when they have to deal with a toxic person and the harsh realization that comes with what they have to do to feel better. Stigmas only make their situation more difficult.
People have to realize that family is chosen. You can choose to have your blood relative be your family, but at any point in time, if a family member must be dropped, then so be it. A toxic family member is nothing but a stranger and they don’t deserve anything one has to offer.
Photo courtesy of CNN
