BY JEREMY HAAS
It’s that wonderful time of year again. Shopping malls are swarming with busy shoppers as their children are crying on the laps of faux Santa Clauses. The buzz of department stores’ fluorescent lighting blends so delicately with public domain holiday carols making winter the most utterly agitating season of the year. Yes it’s Christmas time, and those Christmas songs are back again, to fill our December with repetitive holiday annoyance. However, among these hideous tracks that we’ve all heard too many times, there are a few that don’t necessarily make you want to go deaf. The Lariat has picked out some of the greatest Christmas songs of all time to give to you, the beloved readers, as a gift. Merry Christmas.
I Won’t Be Home for Christmas- Blink 182
Ah yes, it’s a pop punk Christmas jam. You should all know that Blink 182 is one of the few exceptions when it comes to my distaste for the subgenre, since they were the originals. This group of comical gentlemen has a very punk rock idea of things, and that is to have fun, make fart jokes, and disregard morals. “I Won’t Be Home For Christmas” really catches the TRUE spirit of Christmas time when it comes to being young. It tells the story of a guy who gets so annoyed with “Christmas cheer” that he viciously attacks a group of carolers with a baseball bat, and is in turn incarcerated. Sounds like my kind of Christmas.
Fairytale of New York-The Pogues
Fans of holiday revelry rejoice! This track tells a romantic Christmas story through the developmental stages of a relationship. The song is basically split into three parts, infatuation, argument, and then compromise. While that sounds fairly typical, the song is unique because of who sings it. Legendary tattered folk band The Pogues are accompanied by the strong voice of Kirsty MacColl to sing an extraordinary Christmas song about intoxication and love. The sloppy slur of front man Shane MacGowan’s voice pulls off the unprecedented lyrics to create a song many people regard as one of the greatest Christmas songs of all time, and for a good reason.
King Of Carrot Flowers Parts 2&3- Neutral Milk Hotel
Jeff Mangum proclaims his utter love for Jesus Christ in the first 30 seconds of this track. Literally, the lines are “I love you Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ I love you, yes I do.” Those lines find their ways in and out of my head a lot because of how freaking catchy they are. When it comes to Neutral Milk Hotel, the true meanings behind the music are often muddled, distorted through holocaust referencing and religious eccentricity. Still, Jeff Magnum is well known for his appreciation of religion, consequently his lyrical worship may not be as sarcastic as many hope. Regardless, “King of Carrot flowers” has definitely earned its label as a “hipster anthem.” It may not be a Christmas song by traditional specifications, but as far as I can tell, it celebrates the love of Jesus Christ, and isn’t that REALLY what Christmas is about?
You’re a Mean One Mr. Grinch-I Am Alaska
Okay so this is probably the most Christmas-y song on the list, and the most recognized too. The Grinch is a story most people know about, and however well known it may be, it is definitely not overrated. “You’re a mean One, Mr. Grinch” is filled with witty one-liners that set it apart from the usual, public domain Christmas songs. The alternative group I Am Alaska covered this song as a part of a Christmas compilation No Sleep Til’ Christmas. They put a little prog-rock spin on its style with cool keyboard riffs, a unique voice, and the original comical lyrics.
Merry Christmas (I Don’t Want to Fight Tonight)-The Ramones
Finally, a Christmas song without a catch, no witty insults, no proclamation of love for Jesus, no violence, no intoxicants, just pure Christmas. Okay that sounds boring, but I swear it isn’t. When Joey Ramone sings this beautifully simple ballad, the annoyance of Christmas all fades to reveal the true innocence of the holiday. It’s all about that wonderful feeling of togetherness. Merry Christmas (I don’t want to fight tonight) doesn’t really tell a story, as it shouldn’t. Rather it mentions everything wonderful about Christmas portraying it as a time to love and not to fight. Granted, most of the carols that irritate us do the exact same thing, but the fact that it’s the Ramones telling us to tolerate one another for this festive occasion just makes it so much more meaningful.
