The Quiver: Cowboys on Ice The Quiver: Cowboys on Ice
 This is a satirical article and should not be taken seriously. It was written with the intent of making people laugh. Any information here... The Quiver: Cowboys on Ice
 This is a satirical article and should not be taken seriously. It was written with the intent of making people laugh. Any information here is most likely false and should not be quoted as fact. However, if this article is used for anything other than its recreational use, the writer and Cooper City High School claim no responsibility if anyone gets offended, injured or otherwise hurt in any way. Thank You.

BY DARIAN SABLON

This past week, CCHS students at the 3900 building in the third floor were greeted to a very pleasant sight early in the morning, with the entire floor covered in sweat and just steeped in moisture due to the lack of AC. At least, that’s what most students think. Through intense journalism, the Quiver was able to find proof of the true cause of the entire fiasco… they were trying to build an ice rink.

“Makes so much sense, I mean, who would actually believe that the AC just happened to break, like honestly, our air conditioning is the top in the state if not the country,” CCHS student Pepe Love said.

Initial rumors of the school trying to create an ice rink arose after a secret shipment of unknown materials were sighted near the school lot. After sending our ace reporter, Walter Smith, he was able to discover that the mysterious boxes contained none other than cowboy skating costumes and skates. Strangely, after making this discovery, Smith and all records of his existence soon vanished. Where he is now, we can only theorize and the entire Quiver staff hopes for his safe return. However, rather than back down, further investigation of public records and interviews were called for, which revealed a secret plot of sorts involving the third floor of the 3900 building. The Quiver was also able to converse with an anonymous person, who stated that he would only be interviewed if allowed to be published under the name ‘Harambe,’ claiming that he knew of the entire plot.

“It’s all cover up, I’m telling you, none of it is real, this far deeper than you could ever imagine,” Harambe said. “I shouldn’t be really saying this, but…the school was planning something big, they were trying to build an ice rink, around the entire third floor, but something went wrong and they had to blame it on the AC.”

Soon after, ‘Harambe’ disappeared without a trace. All attempts to contact him have been entirely useless, with only the recording of his interview being the sole the evidence that he was even real. In fact, very few believe in the reality of the situation, with most students brainwashed by shady excuses and scientific mumbo jumbo by the school.

“Doesn’t heat, like, melt ice? I’m pretty sure that’s how science works,” CCHS student Sam Richards said.
Whatever the lies may be, the Quiver staff promises that it will stand by the story and reveal the deepest and darkest secrets of this entire cover-up, and give the students of Cooper City High School the closure it deserves.